I don't watch much Television.
The question comes to mind: Just how could I expect any one of you to relate to this strange behavior of mine? But, it seems to me that TV has become an integral and almost dangerous part of our society. Now weather you like it or not, this situation is only going to get worse in my opinion, before it get's
...even WORSE.
For example; Some will sit in front of that tube and do absolutely nothing as long as it's pumping their heads with information. ...so much information, so much utterly USELESS information, that one might want to take a nap.
And, MOST do.
I'm not immune to the networks, cable, satellite, or any of that shtuff. I've felt the pull of the pixels taring open my soul and pouring false memories down my throat, made of sit-com syrup and "touching" stories of poignant repugnance, washed down with pure nonsense in the place of what could have been REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE, had I only gotten up and done something.
Saying things like "In the OLD DAYS..." makes me sound bitter and shriveled but, It seems back when we had fewer channels to watch, we could all connect at that level. Meanwhile, the things we did when NOT watching television were what defined us.
You can now buy an HD DVR Sat-ready set, with all the bells and whistles. It can be programed to run your entire life, provided your entire life is spent in front of your set and, you have someone on call to help you with the unimportant things like; CHEWING, SWALLOWING and WIPING YOUR ASS!
NO really, it will even babysit your kids for you, and give them a head start dealing with the complicated politics of every day life.
Sorry, I was a little messy with that last statement. I believe there is a spot of sarcasm on your shirtsleeve... (you might want to take care of that)
All joking aside, do you remember that entire season of "The Young and, The Replaceable" that you couldn't shut off because you wanted to know if that two-timing doctor was going to help the woman who was giving birth to the one-eyed three-fingered man's baby only to find out the baby wasn't his... and Daddy was only a figment of her imagination anyway because of a concussion she received during a tragic scrap booking accident in Tahiti??? Oh, you DO remember don't you? (SPOILER) Valerie's pet pigeon was on meth and, accidentally dropped the wedding ring in the toilet just before the ceremony, leaving Thomas alone at the alter wondering why ANYBODY would have a bird as a ring barer. Subsequently destroying Valerie's brother Ramond's trust in his friend Maxwell's ability as a bird trainer.
That was the summer you could have been playing catch with your 7 year old and, the entire reason he's not interested in sports anymore which didn't necessarily lead him down the wrong path but, defiantly fed his resentment towards you and that's why he lost a little respect for you along the way, so you placated him by flipping it to some cartoons while you did some work around the house, validating and compounding the rewards of this mass-media madness for the sake of "what's on next"
(I know it didn't happen that way. But, some will probably recognize key elements.)
"Next" the word has surpassed cliche and gone on to overused and, I'm holding out for obsolete. Leading to my point, and the only reason I started writing this:
The Superbowl commercials SUCKED last year! WHAT HAPPENED?!?
Did the writers ALL DIE ? Or, was it a simple case of mass-complacency?
I can almost hear the conversation around the water-cooler:
"Hey, are you gonna do anything cool this year?"
"Nah... we've got this. Everyone will be tuned in regardless of weather we're doing our best or not...so...SCREW IT."
"Yeah, I guess you're right, we don't need to go all-out anymore since people are so used to seeing outrageously creative and witty commercials during half-time, they probably won't even notice we didn't even try."
Commercials are THE ONLY REASON I watch the Superbowl because I enjoy PLAYING sports, not watching them. This year will be different as, the team I have loved since 'Mean' Joe Green, will be there. I watched them on the internet last year and, believe it or not, someone is getting paid WELL for ad space on You-tube. They've got it DOWN now! GO AHEAD, 'YouTube' the ads and, you'll find out very quickly that like me, YOU will watch commercials...
before you can watch commercials.
WHO WOULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED STUPIDITY REACHING SUCH LEVELS?
Is this what it's coming to? Am I the only one who will greedily hog the screen for the enjoyment of mundane ads that only a generation ago served as a signal to head for the kitchen or restroom?
OK, help me out here... do the commercials still get LOUDER than the regular programming? I mean, how else would you know the game is back on when, you're in another room doing whatever it is you should be doing during the break instead of vegging out and getting bedsores from poor circulation and sitting in your own urine. Oh, so that doesn't happen to you? COME ON, just admit you peed just a little in your underwear watching that F-r-i-e-n-d-s marathon though.
GO STEELERS!
